


life is simply unfair, don't you think?

by tieriaerde



Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Not Beta Read, They/Themrey, like i said with my last fic sorry but not really, short as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 11:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tieriaerde/pseuds/tieriaerde
Summary: If someone had to lose, then Benry probably deserved it the most.benrey on the inherent tragedy of having your fate written out for you.-DO NOT INTERACT WITH MY FICS IF YOU CONSUME OR CREATE NSFW CONTENT OF HLVRAI
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman (Implied)
Kudos: 62





	life is simply unfair, don't you think?

This isn't fair, as most things aren't. Benry knows this from the start.

It doesn't have to hurt this much, and it shouldn't. It's a game, a story, and they know the part they have to play. They know better — they  _ know _ it's not fair and they know it isn't supposed to be and they know there has to be a villain and they know these things, they know them to the point of choking on them, so they should be able to accept them.

It's a simple enough line of logic. X equals Y and Y equals Z, so X equals Z. Simple. Clear cut. Immutable. Like lines of code, like strings of ones and zeroes rolling across a black screen, like the text and textures that Benry themself is made up of. They're a mathematical being by nature, or they were at one point, and they should be able to follow those rules. They should be able to follow those simple, simple lines of logic.

Benry  _ should _ be a lot of things. They  _ aren't _ even more things, and so even though it shouldn't hurt this much, it does. It hurts a lot — way more than being shot in the chest by Gordon.

(It hurts in sort of the same way, actually, because Benry can't die — not yet — and they can't be hurt physically — not yet — but they're pretty sure there's nothing stopping them from feeling hurt, or upset, or guilty, and so that's what they feel instead. That's about all they can feel when they talk to him, lately.

They're pretty sure there's nothing that can stop them from feeling. If there was, they would've figured it out by now.)

They wish, with everything in them, that it were just a little bit simpler, or a little bit fairer. They wish for a lot of things they can't have. Life isn't fair like that, as most things aren't. They've always known this. They're sick to death of knowing this, because maybe if they didn't they'd at least feel a little less hopeless about it. All they can do now is  _ wait. _

So it's not fair. Whatever, right? Someone had to be the villain. Someone had to lose in the end.

If someone had to lose, then Benry probably deserved it the most. If someone had to win, then Gordon probably deserved it the most.

As they do with most things, they just wish it could have ended differently.

**Author's Note:**

> recently i read a lot of hollow knight fanfics about these same sort of themes and then i wrote this in a haze at 5 am and then my mom got mad at me for staying up until 5 am. cheers  
> also, a quick note about my spelling of benr(e)y in this fic: you'll notice that i only spell it benry when i'm writing narration in benrey's pov. that's my author's trick, because he's the only one who ever actually spells it with one E throughout the series. i think my brain is huge and i want everyone to know it. again sorry but not really about how short this is, i'm writing another tommy thing that's longer rn though! also if you know what the title is referencing. please know that i love you forever, unless you're one of the 28 people who voted for akane kurashiki in the least favorite character poll on twitter <3  
> -  
> send me hate mail  
> tumblr: tieriakin  
> twitter: tieriakin


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